5 Red Flags Your Therapist Is NOT Neuroaffirming

If you’re neurodivergent—living with ADHD, autism, or another neurodivergent condition—finding a therapist who respects and understands your unique experiences can make a huge difference. Neuroaffirming therapy values neurodiversity, recognising traits like sensory sensitivities, unique communication styles, and the need to stim as essential parts of identity, not issues that need “fixing.” This approach creates a safe space where you can work through challenges without feeling pressured to mask or change who you are.

Masking can sometimes feel unavoidable in certain situations, like job interviews or formal events, where the pressure to fit in and avoid misunderstandings is high. In these moments, masking may help us get through the interaction smoothly. However, it can come at a personal cost, often leaving us feeling exhausted or burned out afterwards. A neuroaffirming therapist understands this reality and helps build self-acceptance while also providing strategies to reduce the need for masking whenever possible, and encouraging proactive and reactive strategies to avoid total burnout.

5 Red Flags Your Therapist Isn’t Neuroaffirming:

1. Encourages Constant Masking – They suggest you suppress natural behaviours, like stimming, to “fit in.”

2. Focuses on ‘Fixing’ You – They view autism or ADHD as problems to be corrected, not traits to be respected. If you hear the words cure, fix or resolve autism- run!

3. Dismisses Sensory Needs – They ignore sensory sensitivities and discourage adjustments for comfort. Exposure therapy to sensory pain just teaches us to endure pain without complaining; it doesn't lessen the pain.

4. Lacks Flexibility – They use rigid methods without accommodating your unique communication or processing needs.

5. Limited Understanding of Neurodiversity – They don’t seem knowledgeable about neurodivergent experiences or open to learning.

   
   

To find a neuroaffirming therapist, look for one who supports neurodiversity and is experienced with ADHD or autism. Ask questions about how they approach sensory and social needs and if they respect neurodivergent traits. Working with a therapist who “gets it” can empower you to embrace your identity, reduce the need to mask, and feel supported through life’s unique challenges.

5 red flags